The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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