Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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