if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
