I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
