He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
