Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
