you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
