You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
