I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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