Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
