Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Hoooooo maaaaan

(313): View more from Michigan

Yes?

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm retarded. Again.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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(716): View more from New York

I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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(716): View more from New York

Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather

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(207): View more from Maine

I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Wait till you get home.

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