I got chris browned last night
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.