Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Call meee

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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(903): View more from Texas

He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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(613): View more from Ontario

you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(905): View more from Ontario

I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

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(214): View more from Texas

You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

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(614): View more from Ohio

They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding

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(417): View more from Missouri

TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT

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