Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair

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  (810): He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair http://tfl.nu/7tzz
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (1534)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.

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  (732): used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick (732): i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore. http://tfl.nu/4czg
  Replies (59) Good night (643) Bad night (2309)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.

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  (847): I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people. http://tfl.nu/av1w
  Replies (16) Good night (1436) Bad night (4411)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

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  (404): I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious. http://tfl.nu/jbo1
  Replies (8) Good night (5467) Bad night (997)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.

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  (618): Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this. http://tfl.nu/flrg
  Replies (7) Good night (1465) Bad night (3259)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.

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  (859): Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours. http://tfl.nu/gzj7
  Replies (5) Good night (5047) Bad night (865)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

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  (816): You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you http://tfl.nu/d6cu
  Replies (8) Good night (1074) Bad night (2917)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.

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  (843): There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac. (843): I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary. http://tfl.nu/0c6s
  Replies (3) Good night (1332) Bad night (500)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die

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  (919): Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die http://tfl.nu/o1vm
  Replies (4) Good night (1414) Bad night (582)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand

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  (412): Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand http://tfl.nu/54cj
  Replies (3) Good night (1236) Bad night (447)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.

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  (216): I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot. http://tfl.nu/mi2o
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (488)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."

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  (252): I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE." http://tfl.nu/xtai
  Replies (2) Good night (1556) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.

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  (330): STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big. http://tfl.nu/njru
  Replies (4) Good night (1519) Bad night (446)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.

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  (310): I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle. http://tfl.nu/a8xs
  Replies (0) Good night (704) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.

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  (781): Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes. http://tfl.nu/e45r
  Replies (1) Good night (387) Bad night (193)

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