We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So vagazzling was a success
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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