just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
