I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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