He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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