bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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