I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
