i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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