Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
