So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
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