you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
