bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
