just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
