weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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