So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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