i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
