If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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