You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
