Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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