Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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