ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
