All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Are we still banned from the library?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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