she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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