so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
should my penis look like a turkey
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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