I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
