Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
