I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
