Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
