you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
