Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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