I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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