shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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