Plan B is the new Plan A
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
