He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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