Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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