He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
