p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we're making bets on your personal life
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
