just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
