Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize