dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize