I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
