I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
