trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
