I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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