I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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