Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
